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April 13, 2008

Whining and Denying Away the Time

Everyday that I go to work I think of how I can make that day better than the one before. My mode of thinking usually goes something like this... "OK Nathan, you can do this." "Dude, this job pays really well...and you actually like the people you work with...you're blessed." "Not too much longer and you'll be in a better position somewhere else...just keep at it." "Man, it is busy today." "Why are there so many people?" "I'm tired" "I'm so sick of this job, I want something better." "It is soo hot in here." "I'm hungry." "There are so many needy customers today...what in the world?" This is the evolution of my thoughts on any given day at Kaldi's. Many of you know that I love my employer of the past few years, and that I love the product I sell and the people I work with...but honestly, I'm burned out and ready for something more. Therefore, I try to look forward and be present with a patient heart, but then, the complaining and whining begins as another workday brings new trials. I find myself in a constant state of complaint. No one has pointed this out to me, it's just my own observations of the current state of affairs in the world of Nathan.
Today's sermon was all about me...or at least it seemed that way. We looked at a passage from Paul's letter to the Phillipians, chapter 4, verses 2-13 to be exact. He actually wrote this letter from prison to encourage the grace of the Lord to a couple of women who had been in continued disagreements. This was a call of coming to the Lord and moving forward. He tells the church of Phillipi that he too has seen every circumstance and has been brought low, he has been in both abundance and need, yet it is in the Lord that joy will come. How often I forget who He is in my life...the Offerer of hope...and life.
As I have been working an hourly wage job for almost a year past when I finished grad school I feel like I deserve more. I feel like I've been working for more, and this seems unjust, and I therefore, feel valid in my bad mood that is filled with constant complaint. It starts with a slight feeling of dissapointment and then moves towards straight-up negativity and then snowballs to anger. At first I think that I'm just venting. However, as Greg, our pastor asked, "What if my venting is actually complaining?" Aaahh. I don't want to do that anymore.
I don't think it's normal to be OK with my situation and to simply be content with where God has placed me. He has me here for a reason, but, He has plans that are fulfilling, aside from the fact that He also has plans for my current situation as well. It seems that finding hope and glory in the present is the key.
How does one do that when they are in what seems to be a hopeless situation? As Paul says, "Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." What I see in this is a faithful man who recognizes that although life isn't easy and can be downright awful, we still have Someone to go to with our anxieties in life. It would be stupid of me to deny that this doesn't hurt or makes me sad. However, it is when I go to Him for comfort He will guard my heart and mind; yes, He will protect me.
As I think of this I am reminded of the passage from Psalms when David says, "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake." In the Psalm just before he asks the question, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest." What does this mean?
I think what we see is that God pulls His people to Him. He knows that we know the truth, and that He is always with us...even in dark times. In the grand scheme of things, I want to be reminded that it is a much better policy to pray and ask for help from Him, and others. I want to not go straight to complaint mode, but talk with Him about it and move forward. I don't want to go to the other side of the coin and simply deny that there is a problem either, but somewhere in in the middle. A place where I recognize what is true and a place where I recognize a need of a Savior. To ignore and pretend that things aren't as bad as they are is to also deny Him...in a weird, yet direct sort of way. We must find the in-between so that we can return to living.

| By Nathan Gemayel | 8:18 PM

Comments

Posted by: Neil E. Das at April 13, 2008 9:42 PM

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